gballgiggs via Adobe Stock

5 Apologies That Are Bullshit

Ways people dodge accountability and label it an “apology”

Ramelize
2 min readOct 3, 2024

--

We’ve all heard apologies that aren’t really apologies. You know the ones — they’re full of excuses, conditions, and blame-shifting. Instead of taking responsibility, they twist the situation and leave you feeling worse.

“Sorry you feel that way”

This one gets under my skin the most. It’s not an apology. It’s a clever dodge, a way to sidestep any accountability. No one should be apologizing for how someone else feels.

The truth is, if someone’s upset, it’s likely because of something *you* did. A real apology sounds like, “I’m sorry I did the thing,” not, “I’m sorry you have feelings about the thing.” It’s a classic move to distance oneself from responsibility.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you”

Ah, the conditional apology. Again, it’s a way to distance themselves. That IF makes it sound like a maybe, just maybe, the offense didn’t even happen. Spoiler: it did. And saying, “I’m sorry *if*” is borderline gaslighting, making the other person doubt their own experience.

They did the thing, so own up to it.

“I’m sorry, but you have to get over it and never bring it up…

--

--