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How To Avoid Conflict with A Covert Narcissist
Generally speaking, covert Narcissists (or those with NPD) don’t realize what they are doing. They have a disorder. You are probably never going to get along with this person and have a normal relationship with them. Ever.
However, if you have someone who exhibits NPD qualities (whether it be family or a loved one), but wish to avoid conflict and encourage a rather harmonious relationship, then proceed at your own will.
What is a Covert Narcissist?
Covert (or closet) Narcissist struggle with the same issues with object constancy, splitting, mood-regulation, fluctuating self-esteem, that exhibitionist Narcissists do.
An exhibitionist Narcissist is similar to other types of narcissists. They usually grow up with poor self-esteem and may lack a nurturing environment at home. They often compensate for this by having an inflated sense of self. They often crave attention.
However, unlike exhibitionist Narcs, they were usually taught from a young age that being in the spotlight will lead to them feeling humiliated, and so they prefer to be attached to things they admire, rather than the center of everyone’s attention (which is usually anxiety-inducing for them).
How are they different from exhibitionist Narcissist?
As opposed to exhibitionist Narcissists who want to be held at the top and receive all admiration, the closet Narcissist feels that the only way they can get to the top is by being chosen by someone or something by whatever they admire. For instance, imagine climbing a structure to which the end goal is to reach the top, balanced and avoid falling down. In this situation, the covert Narcissist must deal with others who threaten their path, possibly knocking them off their internal emotional rise by perceived Narcissistic injuries, and often finding themselves at the bottom trying to get back up again.
Narcissistic Supply
This is similar to what closet narcissists experience. They have the intense desire to be recognized, feel special, and admired, but feel more comfortable when they are not alone at the top, and the attention is bounced off of something else onto them. For…
