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Intimacy Is A Narcissist’s Kryptonite

They are fearful of it

3 min readJul 11, 2022


The general censuses of narcissists is that they are the fearful type. Much of this angst comes from a strong desire to protect their image and selfish needs. However

To be involved in/with intimacy means to breaking down those barriers they’ve spent so long building, leaving them vulnerable for all to see.

The first reason

They understand the physical, yet literal allowance that intimacy brings. Having the ability to find out who they really are and how they operate behind closed doors, fills them with the dread you could possibly be repulsed by them.

One can truly stir the pot by simply asking questions based around intimacy. A part of them will see such inquiries as a threat, pushing them into a corner that, if answered truthfully, will guarantee disgust and if contrarily, will evoke the sense that something isn’t right — ultimately stuck in a dilemma. And, if by any chance they’re incapable of answering either or, then it is certainly due to their stunted emotionally ability to connect with others — in other words, empathy.

The common narcissist response (or lack thereof) would be to deflect the question and shift all of the focus onto the questioner. The latter may be barraged with insults or disingenuous flattery. Doing so, would remove any further opportunity for the narcissist to engage in the initial conversation.

Due to their disorder, narcissists are unconsciously predisposed to fake it at all times. They pretend not wanting to hurt you, when in reality, it’s what they are the most effective at doing. Whether they are aware of it or not. Whether it’s intentional or unintentional, in their minds they cannot be at fault so it’s useless bringing it to light.

Arguably, the narcissist may not fear just intimacy, but the spur of curiosity to assert situations. Both of which can wake up those who have been long influenced by the narcissist.

The second reason

The narcissist may also fear intimacy due to the chance there will be vengeful retaliation. Considering all of things they may have done, it would make all the more sense that a not-so-great reaction were to come…