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When Your Abuser Uses Threats of Self-Harm to Manipulate You
When you’re dealing with an abuser, one common and particularly nasty tactic they use to keep you trapped is threatening to harm or even k*ll themselves if you leave.
It’s a manipulative move, but what’s often missed is that this alone is abusive.
It’s coercion, plain and simple.
Here’s what you need to understand: you are not responsible for staying in a toxic relationship just because they threaten to hurt themselves.
That’s their way of controlling you — using fear to keep you locked in a cycle of abuse. You do not owe them your well-being just because they throw around threats.
And let’s be real — most of the time, these threats are empty. They’re a bluff to keep you in check. But, if you genuinely think they might follow through, there’s a way to handle it.
Step one: you leave. That’s non-negotiable. Step two: call the police and ask for a welfare check. Let them handle it from there.
If the person is in serious danger, they’ll get the help they need, possibly even a trip to the psychiatric ward. That’s not on you.
Abusers are masters at playing the victim. When they’re not being monsters, they put on this “helpless” act, trying to make you feel like they’re some broken soul who can’t survive without you. Throwing a pity party with them being from and center.
But let’s be clear if it wasn’t obvious already. It is nothing more than an act and a manipulative ploy to impose obligation to be at arm’s reach or even closer. They were a fully functioning adult before you came into the picture, and they’ll definitely manage long after you leave.
So, when they throw out threats of self-harm as a last-ditch effort to keep you from leaving, remember — it’s just yet another form of abuse.
Call the police and protect yourself if you have to. You should not sacrifice, safety or your well-being for someone who’s hurting you.
Save yourself.
Thanks for reading!
🔗Grab your copy of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse ❤️🩹
