Intellectualizers have a difficult time in therapy because they already know all the things the therapist is telling them. They have observed all their patterns and are aware of all the ways they’re getting in their own way.
They can think their way through all the different scenarios, but the problem lies in not able to make a change.
Most of the time, intellectualizers are those who had developmental trauma. Which means somewhere along their life, likely within their childhood, they learned that feeling emotions and experiences in their body was too much.
So, they retreated to their heads and distracted themselves by other stuff instead. Often, they are very intelligent and find a sense of safety, usually a false sense of safety for a sense of control (a false sense of control) in their intellect.
As children, this made them feel safe. This could be for a variety of reasons. Maybe their parents were both very emotional people, and it felt like too much to have all this big energy coming at them or going between the parents all the time.
Or their parents were very controlling and dictated which emotions they could or couldn’t feel. Maybe only good emotions were allowed within the family, and if they felt sadness or anger, they were sent to their room to feel it…
